Wall Art or Doomsday Clock?

According to popular media today was suppose to be the much heralded "end of the world."  At least that was the speculation based upon a terminal date on some ancient Mayan calendar.  It was also the beginning of the One Man's long over-due and much needed vacation.  What better way to say to hell with work than bugging out on Doomsday?

The last couple of years have found the stress of the Christmas holidays wearing on my family.  After last year we decided that the best defense was simply not to be there.  So we decided to forgo the usual Summer vacation and spend Christmas with just myself, the wife, and the kids on a beach somewhere.  A Christmas in, what to us would be, a very non-traditional environment.

So last night, I came home from work, picked up the rental car, packed, took a quick 30 minute "combat nap" and then hit the road for a 13 hour marathon drive (I am suppose to be an "endurance" athlete after all).  All the while thinking how cool it was going to be to watch the end of the world from the beach.  Well around 07:15 or so sunrise came just as it normally does.  No exploding stars, killer asteroid strikes, or alien invasions.

Sunrise on the East Coast.  Looking pretty good to me while I'm driving.

I'm not sure that the Mayans had a specific time picked out, so I considered that perhaps the end of the word might come sometime later in the afternoon.  Which I was perfectly fine with because I really hadn't made it to the beach yet and I was hopeful that I could get some sun and surf in before the cataclysm.  Now, I could have taken into consideration that 12/21/2012 had come to other parts of the world several hours earlier, but logically I dismissed this assertion as the Mayans were clearly located in the Americas and weren't really concerned with international date lines.  So with some expectation of seeing an epic solar flare or witnessing the switching of Earth's magnetic poles, I took the family to a nice lunch at a restaurant on a pier that sat over the surf.  Then we took a nice stroll along the beach.  The only celestial observance to note was that the moon was visible in the afternoon sky, but I hardly considered that ominous or malevolent.

An afternoon moon and no global destruction to be had anywhere.

By late afternoon my expectations for catastrophic planetary failure were pretty much dashed.  As the sun began to set along the Western horizon I started to wonder if perhaps the Mayans had just ran out of room on the round tablet that they had carved their calendar on.  Then I wondered if some overly-bright archeologist with a fedora and a bullwhip had stumbled upon an ancient Mayan interior decorator's design shop and confused some wall art with an intricate and sophisticated device for documenting cycles and the passage of time.  I'm sure that happens all the time.
 

Wall art or the basis for Microsoft's Outlook calendar?

So the day is nearly over.  12/21/2012 has come and (mostly) gone.  I'm a little disappointed in the ancient Mayans, but then again can you really put stock in a civilization that collapsed around the 9th century?  Guess the hotshot who chiseled out their calendar failed to add that little tidbit to the day planner.

Late afternoon and not a single Borg ship to be seen.

One thing I am certain of however, and that is that I am fairly pleased that doomsday wasn't today.  My kids will have an opportunity to get their Christmas gifts, the family will be able to enjoy the stress-free environment of Christmas away from home, and I will be able to leave work behind for a while and get in some awesome workouts and runs in the sand and sun.

For those that are still concerned that the end is nigh, I have heard that Obama and Boehner have invited Harold Camping to Washington to consult them on the "fiscal cliff".

Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall

I have an admission to make.  I'm in a very dysfunctional relationship...with my bathroom scale.

My old digital scale finally fell apart a couple of months ago.  I think the strain of my constant need for attention finally took its toll.  So, when the old scale's display finally refused to answer me with anything other than a very firm "E" (which I interpreted as meaning "I'm done."), I decided to replace it with a sleeker, sexier machine with more options.  Sleeker and sexier doesn't always equate to better reliability or comfort.  I should have known that I was in over my head when it came with an instruction manual that included more directions than just, "Step on.  Read weight."

 

The numbers shown are obviously not mine.

The new scale is a Health o meter Body Fat Monitoring Scale that allegedly measures not only weight but body fat, hydration levels, and calculates BMI (Body Mass Index).  It does this all through the magic of bio-impedance.  According to the literature the scale "sends a mild electrical current through your body, measuring both the strength and speed of the return current. From these readings, the software calculates your body mass."  I'm hoping it won't become self-aware in the future and decide one day to up the amperage.  The new scale also has a bunch of other functions too, like turning into robot with laser cannons I think, but I never read that far into the instruction manual.

My relationship with the scale is a twisted love-hate obsession of constant weighing in.  Almost each and every morning I climb on the scale to see how the glowing blue display will greet me.  Sometimes she is kind.  Sometimes she is less so.  I have often doubted her objectivity.  But what is more concerning is that recently I have begun to doubt her honesty.

At my heaviest I weighed in at nearly 235 pounds.  I do not have a genetic predisposition to being overweight or obese.  This was simply a result of a few years of idle contentment and indulgence.  When I was introduced to running as an enjoyable endeavor almost three years ago, I dropped 30 pounds of that.  Since then my weight has fluctuated, with a low of about 197 pounds last year (an unhealthy drop facilitated by the use of the thermogenic OxyElite Pro) and topping back out around 212.  On average my weight consistently ranges between 204 and 206.

This morning when I climbed on the scale I was met with the following:

32.6 % body fat?! Lay off the lattés, fat boy.

As my wife has often reminded me I am not "built like a runner."  And, given the stereotypical runner's physique, she's right.  I am not tall and skinny with long slender limbs.  I have a heavier, more solid build.  I am not obese by any stretch of the imagination and I can see my abs (sort of...no, really!) although they are not quite as defined as I would like.  The scale's bio-impedance technology however tells me that my body fat percentage puts me in an obese category.  Very disheartening for someone who considers himself to be fit.

The next set of numbers were no more encouraging:

According to the BMI I am still considered obese.

I'm also dehydrated.

This has been a consistent report from my new scale since bringing it home.  Other than occasionally watching the numbers of my overall weight decrease, there just never seemed to be any positive feedback.  Then just last night I read this article entitled "Your Ideal Weight Isn't What You Think It Is."  In the article the author makes this assertion: 

 "The best advice you'll ever hear in regard to weight management is throw away your scale. The focus, or obsession, on weight is the very reason why most people fail. It's misguided and dangerous. The focus on weight began back in the 1950's when the definition of appropriate weight was simple. Your weight was compared against the ideal weight tables developed by the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company."

On the subject of BMI the author also says: 

"BMI provides an estimation of fat content in a person's body, and is probably accurate for most people. Results may vary, however, because BMI doesn't take into account the differences between lean weight and fat weight. For example, athletes may develop significantly higher muscle mass. Muscle contributes more to overall weight than fat. As a result their BMI may be higher than average despite a lower fat content."

So BMI for people with more muscle mass can also be misleading as well.  As I said earlier, I am far from obese, however according to the BMI charts I am considered just that.  The article goes on to say that Body Composition Testing (also known as Body Fat Analysis) "is the only proven method to accurately test whether or not you're at your ideal weight."

But wait!  Isn't that what my sleek and sexy new scale is suppose to do with it's super cool bio-impedance technology?  According to the bathroom scale I'm still cruising above 30% body fat.  I'm still fat!

So later today, lingering in a malaise of depression over my obesity, I spot this StayHealthy kiosk near the pharmacy in the grocery store.  It looked less high-speed than my scale, but promised a broader range of capabilities and technological sophistication.  Much like Optimus Prime while in truck mode.

Optimus Prime.

Unlike the old blood pressure kiosks that used to be found in most pharmacies, this one had the ability to measure blood pressure, BMI, body fat composition, and give a simple color blindness test.  So I gave it a try.  I had to input my weight manually to get the BMI, but the body fat composition was done with the same bio-impedance technique by placing your hands on the metal strips on each side of the screen.  Here are my results.

Holy crap! Do I even workout?

Wow.  So according to the kiosk my body fat percentage is only 19.1%.  That is 41% less than what my home scale is telling me.  Although there are some slight variations in body composition scales, according to this I'm "moderately lean" or considered in a "fitness" category.  That was certainly a much different (and refreshing) bit of news than what the glass, plastic, and silicone liar at home has been telling me!

Not to be outdone on the bad news front, the kiosk did tell me that my blood pressure is in the pre-hypertension category and my pulse rate is high (don't even get me started on this one).  My BMI is still in the obesity range of course.  Oh, and I'm also dehydrated (surprise).  On the flip side I was a pleased to find that I haven't yet gone color-blind.  After all these years, I'm starting to think Mom was wrong about that other thing making you go blind.

With all the charts and scales and variances in body mass who - or rather what - do you believe when it comes to achieving your ideal weight?  It can certainly be confusing, misleading, and above all frustrating.  It seems that the advice that a pro bodybuilder once gave me years ago in an old hole-in-the-wall gym where I used to workout is still sound advice today.  He told me to forget about the scale and focus on the mirror.  "It doesn't lie," he had said.  What you see is what you get and if you aren't happy with what you see then work to change it until you are.

So maybe the lesson here is that how I look and feel is more important that those glowing blue numbers.  And that, ultimately, will determine my ideal body weight.  But just like most dysfunctional relationships, I'll still continue to go back and step on the scale, secretly hoping that it will show me what it is that I want to see.