Have you ever had one of those days where everything went perfectly? I mean absolutely perfect. Everything falls right into place, your timing is impeccable, and every plan that you've laid out goes off without a snag? You know! One of those days where nothing could possibly seem to go wrong. Everyone loves you; thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread. You are the man! Or woman, as the case may be. One of those days where you love your job and the job loves you right back. Ever have an entire week like that? Yeah, me neither.
As a matter-of-fact the last couple of weeks have been made up of a combination of less-than-perfect days and days that I'm certain the Devil himself custom designed specifically for me. Not that I haven't given Old Scratch his due from time to time, but I think we certainly have reached a trade imbalance with the last few weeks.
So as you can already figure out this isn't going to be a nice little blog post where I talk about rainbows and bunnys. This is the post where my frustration, bitterness, and angst will come shining through.
I read recently how unbelievably awesome everyone's lives seem to be if you believe everything that you read posted on Facebook or Twitter. As Beth over at Shut Up + Run said in one of her blog posts, "If you hang around on Facebook long enough, you may want to slit your wrists. It seems everyone is at party and you are at home cleaning the toilets." You can read more of Beth's observations here. So if you are looking for a party, I would suggest you navigate away from this page now and go read about someone else's perfect life on Facebook. If you think you can handle a dose of some of what has been pissing me off recently, then by all means, press on.
Here is a funny cat picture while you make your decision:
Still here? Okay then. Where shall we start?
How about work? For many different reasons I can't go into specifics, but I think you'll understand the crux of my frustration.
I'm certain that everyone has their own share of work frustrations - those that actually work. I could rant all day long about everything that is wrong with my job; all of it a direct result of bureaucratic assholes who are so far removed from reality that they couldn't find their way back if they had a map and a team of Sherpa. For the operators in the field the reality of what is happening and the resources that are needed to do their jobs effectively are painfully obvious. At least the ones who give a damn. There are those who have just given up and no longer care - if they ever did - and I blame that directly on leadership. Without getting into those aforementioned specifics it comes down to these three factors:
The first two could be easily worked around if the third (and most important) factor wasn't an issue. Imagine going to work every day and feeling like you had to fight your employer to let you do your job. That is what it has been like for me for a very, very long time now and I've grown weary of it. I could take the low road like others have: show up, be ineffective, and collect a paycheck. But that isn't my nature. And not only is it not my nature, it doesn't fulfill the oath that I took or achieve the mission objectives that I have been tasked with that attempt to ensure a free and secure society. I do this job because, for all the frustration, all the angst, all the asinine mandates of fat-ass bureaucratic assholes, I sometimes do make a difference. I do what I do because, like some idealistic boy scout, I believe in what I do and I love my job.
Next? How about my fitness pursuits. This blog is called One Man Running. My running and training has also been exceedingly frustrating. Work and home (another issue altogether which I will spare the general populous) has been pulling at me to the point that I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. My nutrition has also been less than stellar. The end result is that both my motivation and my performance have taken big hits. My gym workouts and my training runs have been lackluster and I've missed some of my weekly scheduled runs altogether. Recent mornings I have started my workouts only to be interrupted half-way through or have a sudden loss of desire fall on me so heavily that I simply put down the weights, dress, and go to my office to start my day. On a recent run I was not even a half mile in when I just didn't feel like running. At all. So I stopped without so much as an attempt at battling or pushing myself over it as I normally would.
As I've been training for the Louisville Sports Commission Half Marathon which is this Saturday, the only positive has been that I haven't missed any of my long runs, simply from the sheer force of determination. But those training runs have been slow and difficult. It seems as though I've been beset by one pin prick of irritation after another for each of those runs. Constant interruptions, missed meals, dehydration, forgotten BodyGlide (and the consequences of that), dead Garmin, dead Bluetooth headphones, the list goes on and on. This past Sunday for example I missed out on running in the morning, which is when I feel my performance is best, and had to settle for running in the mid-afternoon. I also realized that I had forgotten my new running shoes at work and had to opt for my recently retired pair for my scheduled 12 mile run. The purpose of retiring those shoes was the shin pain that I was beginning to experience. Around 8 miles in and the pain was definitely there. At 10.25 miles I had hit the wall anyway and that was where my run ended. It has been a very long time since I've seen the proverbial "wall" and was a little surprised when I did. And did I mention that at the start of my run my Garmin was dead? If it hadn't been for the Runmeter app on my iPhone I might have packed it in right there.
Since Sunday's failed 12 miler I haven't run at all. This was suppose to be a taper week with three small runs scheduled before the Half this Saturday. None of those runs have happend. Even though I have put in the training and the long runs, like the KDF Marathon this past April, I'm just not feeling it. I have a not-so-secret goal of beating my time from the inaguarl running of the LSC last November. What I don't have is a lot of confidence that will happen.
If there is a silver lining it is that my knee is feeling better since the PRP procedure. There is still some residual ache and discomfort at the beginning of my runs, but that pain abates and eventually disappears as I warm up. The problem is that I realize that the effects of my knee injury will never go away. I will live with the consequences of the injury for the rest of my life and, unless there are hyper-advancements in orthopedics, this knee could be a show stopper in my later years.
Oh, and speaking of silver linings I have absolutely had it with my hair. As narcissistic as I am (or at least regularly accused of being), I'm obviously very concerned with my closely cropped coiffure. In 2005 I was involved in a very serious auto accident. That accident ripped a little scalp off of my skull. The trauma doc pulled the skin together and put a few staples in to hold it together. Ever since one section of hair grows in the opposite direction than the rest, in some faux, twisted attempt to make me look like Alfalfa from the Little Rascals. To keep it under control I have resorted to bi-weekly visits to the barber shop and the use of "relaxing" shampoos in an attempt to coax the rogue follicles into compliance or at least mitigate their undeterred rebellion.
Perhaps the most disturbing thing however, is that there is all of this natural "highlighting" that has begun to appear along the sides of my hair. It used to be easy enough to keep the grey concealed by keeping my hair cut closely, but that is no longer working as well as it once did. The steady march toward the grave is heralded by the visible ravages of age. Getting old sucks.
So there, in not so much of a nutshell, you have a few of the sources of my irritation. If I launched into the complete list - along with sub-catagories - this would be a book and not a blog post. Did I also mention that I've been writing this post for almost a week? That is the way things are going for me at the moment. But I will do what I'm used to doing: suck it up and keep moving. Because in reality there are no perfect days, maybe just perfect perspectives, and the only way to change your view is to keep moving forward from where you are.
And in case you are wondering, you won't find the One Man on Facebook. I'm quite convinced that Facebook was designed specifically by the Devil, and is probably his best invention yet.
As a matter-of-fact the last couple of weeks have been made up of a combination of less-than-perfect days and days that I'm certain the Devil himself custom designed specifically for me. Not that I haven't given Old Scratch his due from time to time, but I think we certainly have reached a trade imbalance with the last few weeks.
So as you can already figure out this isn't going to be a nice little blog post where I talk about rainbows and bunnys. This is the post where my frustration, bitterness, and angst will come shining through.
I read recently how unbelievably awesome everyone's lives seem to be if you believe everything that you read posted on Facebook or Twitter. As Beth over at Shut Up + Run said in one of her blog posts, "If you hang around on Facebook long enough, you may want to slit your wrists. It seems everyone is at party and you are at home cleaning the toilets." You can read more of Beth's observations here. So if you are looking for a party, I would suggest you navigate away from this page now and go read about someone else's perfect life on Facebook. If you think you can handle a dose of some of what has been pissing me off recently, then by all means, press on.
Here is a funny cat picture while you make your decision:
Still here? Okay then. Where shall we start?
How about work? For many different reasons I can't go into specifics, but I think you'll understand the crux of my frustration.
I'm certain that everyone has their own share of work frustrations - those that actually work. I could rant all day long about everything that is wrong with my job; all of it a direct result of bureaucratic assholes who are so far removed from reality that they couldn't find their way back if they had a map and a team of Sherpa. For the operators in the field the reality of what is happening and the resources that are needed to do their jobs effectively are painfully obvious. At least the ones who give a damn. There are those who have just given up and no longer care - if they ever did - and I blame that directly on leadership. Without getting into those aforementioned specifics it comes down to these three factors:
- Lack of manpower.
- Lack of resources.
- Lack of effective leadership.
 |
| Frustration or exhaustion? It all looks the same. |
Next? How about my fitness pursuits. This blog is called One Man Running. My running and training has also been exceedingly frustrating. Work and home (another issue altogether which I will spare the general populous) has been pulling at me to the point that I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. My nutrition has also been less than stellar. The end result is that both my motivation and my performance have taken big hits. My gym workouts and my training runs have been lackluster and I've missed some of my weekly scheduled runs altogether. Recent mornings I have started my workouts only to be interrupted half-way through or have a sudden loss of desire fall on me so heavily that I simply put down the weights, dress, and go to my office to start my day. On a recent run I was not even a half mile in when I just didn't feel like running. At all. So I stopped without so much as an attempt at battling or pushing myself over it as I normally would.
 |
| How I've felt after most of my runs. |
Since Sunday's failed 12 miler I haven't run at all. This was suppose to be a taper week with three small runs scheduled before the Half this Saturday. None of those runs have happend. Even though I have put in the training and the long runs, like the KDF Marathon this past April, I'm just not feeling it. I have a not-so-secret goal of beating my time from the inaguarl running of the LSC last November. What I don't have is a lot of confidence that will happen.
If there is a silver lining it is that my knee is feeling better since the PRP procedure. There is still some residual ache and discomfort at the beginning of my runs, but that pain abates and eventually disappears as I warm up. The problem is that I realize that the effects of my knee injury will never go away. I will live with the consequences of the injury for the rest of my life and, unless there are hyper-advancements in orthopedics, this knee could be a show stopper in my later years.
.JPG) |
| Every day is a bad hair day. |
Perhaps the most disturbing thing however, is that there is all of this natural "highlighting" that has begun to appear along the sides of my hair. It used to be easy enough to keep the grey concealed by keeping my hair cut closely, but that is no longer working as well as it once did. The steady march toward the grave is heralded by the visible ravages of age. Getting old sucks.
So there, in not so much of a nutshell, you have a few of the sources of my irritation. If I launched into the complete list - along with sub-catagories - this would be a book and not a blog post. Did I also mention that I've been writing this post for almost a week? That is the way things are going for me at the moment. But I will do what I'm used to doing: suck it up and keep moving. Because in reality there are no perfect days, maybe just perfect perspectives, and the only way to change your view is to keep moving forward from where you are.
And in case you are wondering, you won't find the One Man on Facebook. I'm quite convinced that Facebook was designed specifically by the Devil, and is probably his best invention yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment